Although telling your children that you (or your spouse) might be (or has been) laid off is never easy, it is important that you do so.
No matter how small your children are, they will always be able to sense the tension and they will always play detective to try and understand unusual emotions or behavior of the parents or the tension they’re sensing. By not telling them openly they may come to a conclusion that the tension somehow is their fault.
There may be times when your children are being children and ask you to buy them stuff. Unless you explain them openly about your current financial worries as opposed to verbally attacking them for being “spoiled”, your children may be convinced that the recent tension in the family is somehow their fault.
A recent study regarding the feelings of children aged 13-17 regarding their feelings about the current economic situation was conducted by Michael Cohen Group, a company that researches issues related to children, education and health. Surprisingly, the awareness of the children and their worries was much higher than expected. 90% of the children understood that the crisis will have a negative impact on the economy as a whole and around 66% believed that soon the impact will be on their own family.
Considering how much information the children now already know, it is best for them if you sit down with them to discuss it, either the national economic situation or your current financial worries or both, depending on the age of the children.
Not talking to them about your job situation and leaving them in the dark, will not guarantee that they won’t find out about it themselves. Here a certain element of trust will be lost. In the future they may be always worried that their parents would not tell them about anything that happens when one day they’re away.
Here are a few tips to help you do it:
1.) Choose your words wisely, consider the age of the children. Young children would usually not understand the word “fire”. Using this may give them the idea of the company wanting to shoot you or wanting you dead.
2.) Be open but not terrifying. It is important to not hide any information about the family’s financial worries but it is also essential to make them feel secure and not terrify them.
3.) Show your worries but also your confidence. It is not a good idea to talk about this matter in a cheerful happy platitude. It is better to show them that you are somewhat worried but once again, show them how confident you are about the outcome. They need to feel secure.
4.) Let them give opinions or offer help. It is important for children to feel that they are a part of the solution and not the problem.
5.) Talk about this in several occasions. Do not expect your children (especially the young ones) to understand it in one grasp. Continue talking about this and let them ask questions. This kind of conversation is the kind that needs to be returned to over and over again.
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